I was feeling much better until I was forced to watch a Wal-Mart commercial. Not a fan. I much prefer the people of Wal-Mart video.
Pat & Jen {we're on a nickname basis} would like to know how my day was. I would love to answer, "great", "not too bad", "just another day in the neighborhood", but that would be a lie.
Well, Pat & Jen, let me tell you.
Poop on a stick.
That is how I would describe my day, and quite frankly, I don't care if you find that gross//whiny//inappropriate reading material.
I could go into some gory details involving digestion issues, but no one wants to read about that. So I'll just mention it, which is much less disgusting.
Also, Pat & Jen, I am a little annoyed at the beautiful weather//scenery you are enjoying on your little romantic rendezvous. Right now, I feel as though Mother Nature is cursing me. Day after day. After day. After flippin' snow-filled day.
I am a champion whiner and Mother Nature is not helping.
Anywho, here are my top 10 reasons I know I'm ready for Spring Break {and actual spring weather}.
David Letterman, you got nothing on me.
10. My students are losing what little emotional stability they had. There were tears in the cafeteria, tears in computer lab, and at recess. They are tired. They need a break. And so help me, so do I.
9. My coat is starting to feel like a straight-jacket. It is making me claustraphobic and angry everytime I put it on.
8. I feel as though I'm drowning in a sea of germs. Stomach flu, respiratory flu, strep throat, and continuous snot.
7. The most exciting thing in my life right now would be putting on a pair of capris and flip flops.
6. I want to throw every last pair of boots sitting in my hallway at school. I hate boots. They are heavy. They are used in snow. And watching first graders constantly put them on, take them off, and attempt to put on their other shoes is old news to me.
5. The equation 2+2 seems too strenuous for me at this point in time.
4. I have the sudden urge to pack up and move to Florida.
3. My son is tearing apart the house.
2. I am having evil thoughts about the meteorologists and their ridiculous forecasts. I will be asking for a lot of forgiveness in the near future.
1. My brain has officially disappeared. Today I got in my car after work, set off the panic button, bent my fingernail backwards turning off the panic button, and then put the car in drive instead of reverse. Whoops.
Right now, I could go for this...
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Followed by this...
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And a night like this...
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My therapists have forgotten about me and are too busy flirting//lifting in the lake. Shoot.
I think my incessant complaining sent them away.
I'd promise next Thursday will be better, except it's Grandparents' Day.
Look out my creepy little monkeys.
You need to change therapists because this therapist would validate all of your feelings. I've been cursing both the dark and the snow for the last week. After the day I had today, I decided if I drank, this would stop by the watering hole on the way home. But I stopped by the Essenhaus instead and bought my groceries for the week since I don't have to feed anybody but myself. It included potato salad, a big cinnamon roll with caramel icing, and a double decker cookie with frosting in the middle. I'm doing some barnyard therapy this weekend, so you're welcome to come over. It's better than that Freud stuff anyday. Come on over, you know where we live.
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