Thursday, January 23, 2014

you're welcome world #3

I just had caffeine. It always brings out the best in me. By 'best', I mean a possibly annoying amount of unfiltered opinions.

Whatever.

So I thought this would be the perfect opportunity for another gift to the world...


Dearest Justin Bieber {a.k.a The Bieb},

       I'd imagine you are having a rather unpleasant day. Getting arrested will do that to a person {although I wouldn't know personally}. I can't say that your news surprises me. Although I was impressed to see you've moved up from alleged vandalism via egging to DUI, drugs, and drag racing. I would like to challenge you. Surprise me. Surprise every adult in America. How, you may ask? Turn into a responsible human. A responsible human that realizes millions of impressionable young teenagers {with horrendous taste in music} are watching your every move. I realize you are only 19 and therefore still a teenager yourself, but your excuse of just being an irresponsible teen went out the window when you started making millions of dollars to have terrible haircuts. By the way, how's being a celebrity working out for ya? So surprise me. Grow up. Be responsible. Have a positive impact on the world.

I won't hold my breath.

Sincerely,

amanda kate

You're welcome world.
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Dear Today Show,

       While being on maternity leave, I have had the unfortunate experience {for which I can only blame myself} of watching your show a time or two. I am stunned by the amount of 'journalists'//anchors//former MTV hosts//wine-drinking-chatties that you have on your show on a daily basis. It seems you are desperately trying to find someone that America connects with and doesn't cause every person to instantly change the channel. It seems that many Americans agree with me. I know this, because when I typed 'today show' into Google search today, the second search suggestion that popped up was 'today show annoying'. Yes indeed. You know who you could use right now? Ann Curry. Classy lady that one.

Sincerely,

amanda kate

You're welcome world.
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Dear Stretchy Pants,

       I would like to take a moment to thank you for your unbelievable, addictive comfort. You see, thanks to my recent pregnancy, I have approximately 2 real pairs of pants that actually fit me. Believe me when I tell you that denim and dress pants are not comfortable when snug. Therefore, I would like to extend a special thanks to all you yoga pants, ponte pants {which I recently met}, and leggings. I could care less how you make me look; you are so soft and so kind to my extra girth. To all males who would say these pants are unflattering to the female physique: talk to me after you give birth.

Sincerely,

amanda kate

You're welcome world.
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1 comment:

  1. Haha I love the section to justin Bieber!!! Soooo true!

    ReplyDelete

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